You know it's time.....

Today I am going to write about something personal. More to get it off my chest than anything. I guess what happened this morning was just a straw. But it all adds up and I reevaluate myself. I feel bad and ashamed, but also tired and misunderstood. And not appreciated and stupid. And naive. I feel like everyone in town is laughing at me, for attempting such a stupid endeavor.

Many of you may know that I own a small café in a small town. I did not set out to have a café, as there are heaps of those. I wanted to have a wine bistro. I live in the middle of wine country but there is no where to go for a glass of wine and to relax. "Everyone" was saying how they "wish there was somewhere to go..." So, feeling supported, I opened a cozy wine bistro, open for lunch into the evenings. I had the largest selection of Otago wines on the planet. The pinots alone went on for four pages!! Almost 400 different wines to choose from. I served tapas and boards, easy food. And coffee, of course. And great homemade desserts and ice cream pies, etc.

The Mr and I hung in there for almost ten months. Every night we held the fort. In the beginning, when every business is finding their way, we were flavour of the month. But we made many mistakes and alienated some people, others loved us, some hated us. So many guests, all day. Then came the rugby world cup and we had heaps of travelers. Then Xmas and summer season, always busy. But then things changed. No one came in the evening and less and less during the day.

Before the first winter we changed the hours going forward and opened for home-cooked breakfast. I should be offering breakfast "they" said. So I did. I love breakfast, it is my favourite meal of the day. But no one came for breakfast, except the travelers on the road. We tweaked the hours more and more until we morphed into a café. I left for a mid winter break with staff in charge and they took their wages but did not do the hours. I guess I have been behind the 8 ball ever since.

Long story short, staff came and went, never satisfied. And I honestly could not give them the hours they needed as there was little traffic. No local support. I have been working the café all alone for almost a year now and it is tough. On busy days I get to hear all the customers ask why I don't have staff. But staff costs money. And there is none. My parents are old and ill and I am an only child. Last year I had to close twice to fly to the States. Not open = no revenue. But the bills remain. I often open late or must close early for overseas telephone calls, etc.

Today I received a very negative review on TripAdvisor. I certainly realize that everyone has their own opinion and I respect that. He did not like his meal. I always ask if everything is OK after serving but I understand some people just say "yes" and moan later. Fair enough. He called me rude. I don't consider myself rude. But maybe it was a bad day, or week. Maybe I was just tired or disappointed that he was the first customer of the day after being there cooking and baking for five hours.

The problem is, there is (some) truth in what he wrote. I was probably tired and "over it" that day. It is hard to be 500% positive every single day of the year. Be your own pep squad. It is hard to try and try, put all your love and spirit and creativity and money and time into something and have no sense of accomplishment. It is hard to muster up the interest to vacuum or dust, again, as no one cares as no one is stopping in. It is so easy to adopt a "who cares anyway" attitude. The problem is, some people do care and if you treat them wrong, they write mean reviews on the internet.

That was the straw today. "Greg" on the North Island was disappointed in his visit to my café and I cannot turn back time and change it. Does he know how hard I try and care and think about things? No. He came in and was disappointed. No customer should be disappointed. I feel bad about that. But maybe it is a warning sign. To myself.

If I came off as mean, it was not my intention. I feel bad and ashamed that this person up north thinks I do not care. I do care. I get all inspired by new recipes, have been to heaps of cooking schools and workshops to get better. I don't think anyone notices. People bad mouth me in town. That is normal, I guess. Gossip and all that jazz. They have no idea what they are talking about, just chirp in. But it hurts as behind this person is drive and creativity, life savings and determination, true interest in customer service and actually this town. And every bit of negative gossip just hits you on the peg a bit more, until that peg is in the ground.

It breaks my heart that the future of my wee café is in jeopardy. But between my eventual obligations to my parents, my own expiration date in regard to working alone day in day out, and trying to please locals who do not care - I guess it's time. Time to move on, somehow. That makes me very sad, and scared.

My Ripponburn ladies, 1:14 - start of year two

newbie, she just came to the community two days before

The year has begun at Ripponburn, my local retirement community!!! Today I went on a movie Thursday, which, when initially planned, was not the idea. But the movie nights got pushed out a week so there went my planning. Makes for a hectic day on my side as I have to get ready for the screening but also close early to get to Ripponburn by three. And I didn't want to feel stressed or hectic when I go there as I really enjoy it and look forward to seeing the ladies.

newbie two

I had two newbies in the group. One lady had just arrived two days before and was still shy and finding her place. She only wanted something plain but after seeing how the other manis turned out, I convinced her to try some glitter. She is a smoker so any colour will take away from the yellowness of her nails. And she has gorgeous nails! Seemed a shame to waste! My other newbie also just wanted a soft shade. I went with the gorgeous salmon for both.

dorothy

gladys

Dorothy started the day and she always likes brown shades. I make sure I have something there for her. She has the most beautiful sapphires, and brown goes well with that. In fact, many of the ladies have the most beautiful rings. I always try to comment as the rings are special to them, evoke memories and all that. Gladys was in a red mood, though she got a load of glitter on her accent nails in the end!

ivy

jenny

Ivy chose three different colours so I went with a skittlette. It was a bit of an ordeal finding out which of the three was her least favourite – that one only went on one nail! Jenny wanted what Dorothy had, but with glitter. She is so impatient. I told her to sit and relax while the polish dried but before you knew it, she was knitting!!! Oh well, she is happy but I don't think her manis last very long.

joan

joyce

margaret two

Joan and Margaret (the 2nd, another Margaret) only wanted something very pale. And Joyce had her husband visiting and she stayed around to get her nails done. She is also one who gets up and down and leaves and come back. A nomad! Looking at all these pics you would think I only brought five bottles of polish with me! But I have my mini tool box full and swatch sticks galore!

lilian

nellie

So, hurrah for Lilian and Nellie! Lilian knew exactly what she wanted and was able to tell me by name (she reads her swatch sticks carefully). And has "a wonderful memory" - she's great!!!! In case you were wondering how I approach this: I have a ring of swatchicles of all the colours I have and they get passed around from lady to lady so she can decide what colour(s) she wants. The night before I go through all of my polishes at home and put together a new ring of fun. Some polishes are the same but I try to bring in new ones depending on the weather and time of year. Nellie was a trooper and even though the pic is a bit out of focus (she kept swinging her hands!), the green and glitter looked really good!

If you have been following me these past months you will be missing my wee Norma. She is quite frail and quite old. She was not feeling up to it and was in bed. Now I fear for the worse. But Frankie, my liaison there, reminds me that they are old and time takes it toll. You make them happy - if even for a split second as their memories are not the best - and that is all that matters.

Have done some rescheduling and am back on a Friday after Waitangi Day, then in two week intervals.

Mani breakdowns:
newbie one: two coats Nicole by OPI Selena, one coat China Glaze Make a Spectacle
newbie two: two coats Nicole by OPI Selena
Dorothy: two coats Thai In the Army
Gladys: two coats China Glaze Red Pearl
Ivy: two coats each of AA: China Glaze Hey Sailor, BB: China Glaze Red Pearl, C: China Glaze Sexy Silhouette
Jenny: two coats Thai In the Army, one coat China Glaze Make a Spectacle
Joan & Margaret two: two coats OPI In the Pink
Joyce: one coat OPI In the Pink, one coat OPI You Glitter be Good To Me
Lilian: two coats OPI No Room for the Blues, one coat China Glaze Make a Spectacle
Nellie: two coats OPI Mermaid's Tears, one coat China Glaze Make a Spectacle

GOT: stripes – hand drawn fronds over stripes of copper and blue

I am enjoying the GOT challenge. Makes you take a long look at your stash, see what's old and try to find away around the prompt. Sorry I am a bit late in posting this - well, in my part of the world it is Friday. But things mounted up yesterday and I couldn't get it done. There was film night last – great, great Norwegian film (Headhunters) – and I had to get ready for that. Then before that, I had Ripponburn day with the little ladies. It just all piled up, felt behind all day.

So this is my take on stripes. The base is (yicks, another mini bottle) Orly Chocolate Martini. This is as old the OPI from the last GOT mani. I must have thought that mini bottles was the way to go four or five years ago. I was not that glam back then and probably thought this will be fine for those days when I felt like painted nails. My, how times have changed! I applied two coats and top coat before continuing. I waited a while.

Then I used one coat of Zoya Wednesday for the accent stripe. This was one of the first polishes I bought back in Oct 2012 when I re-started being glam. I still love it and have many similars (CG For Audrey, NOPI Alex by the Books). I lightly top coated the stripe area before continuing.

harvey getting in on the action!

I drew black outlines for frond like leaf-flowers. Carefully I filled them in with OPI Greenwich Village (bought at the Viet shop Nov 2012 in the States) and Zoya Sooki (got at my local NW in a buy-a-box-of-Kellogg's-and-get-a-free-bottle-of-polish-special also in Nov 2012). I use Sooki A LOT! It is a fantastic shade of tomato red. The red and green complement the copper and teal really well. Who'd of thought? And, I have gotten a lot of compliments on this mani - people really noticed it. In fact, I have started a similar based pendant (oh! sold two pendants this morning at the café!!!!).

right hand

Today is very windy in Central. And now a coldness is blowing through. Not that nice when the Antarctic winds swept the plains. Especially in summer. Even though I am late to the GOT party today, I am going to take time and check out all the other lassies and their creations!

I did end up making a pendant after all! more here: etsy shop.

Zoya Vespa with handdrawn yellow daisies

This beautiful green I just bought off a PANZ destash! Yeah - my first pixie dust! Zoya has a couple of pixies out there that I have my eye on, but alas.... not yet snatched! Vespa is a light olive green with the sparkles of silver running through it. Tender and easy going. Beautiful! My original plan was just to paint my nails but then I thought how yellow would look rather fab with it!

The base is two coats of Vespa. I top coated before drawing as – as expected – the surface is not kind to fine brushes! The polish dries matte with structure. But not as structured as OPI's liquid sand finishes. In the end the finished mani has two coats of top coat. Can't feel much but a third would be perfect.

I drew the daisy and stem outlines in black then filled them in. Since the surface was a bit rough, I had to go over the black lines again after the yellow. They got kind of smudged or something. I just drew daisies in different directions. I like the freehand look to them.

For the yellow I used piCture pOlish Mellow Yellow followed by Butter London Cheeky Chops. Mellow Yellow is exactly that, very mellow. A faint light yellow (it would look totally fab matte, like candy!). The inner parts of the petals has a dot of Cheeky Chops to add dimension. Like I mentioned, I top coated after this. Used Poshé the second time as it is a bit thicker.

Now.... could not resist starting a pendant necklace in these colours. It is not finished yet but tomorrow is my day off and will finish things then. But I wanted to give you an idea!! When done, I will add a finished pick below.
As “promised", here the finished pendant and charm (here the link to my shop with more pics):